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Great Neck Notebook: April 23, 2010

Not Really News

It seemed like summer arrived over night in Great Neck. One day it was 45 degrees, the next it was 90. Local officials immediately sprang into action. The supervisor’s office of the Town of North Hempstead called an emergency meeting of all local mayors to discuss the local ramifications of global warming, while Park District officials contemplated opening Parkwood Pool on May 1.   

The Mayors of Great Neck Plaza and the Village of Great Neck considered issuing an appearance ticket to whomever caused this unexpected warm spell for disturbing the “natural order of the seasons” as described in section 501, subparagraph 3b of the local ordinances governing environmental matters. As far as our sources could determine, none of the proper permits had been filed or fees paid.

Some residents were upset last week when Sylvia Hubris of Kings Point was issued a traffic citation for double parking in front of one of our local hair salons for four hours. In her defense, her attorney issued a statement explaining that Mrs. H had just gone in for an estimate when her hair “frizzed up” during the recent heat spell.

Some local parents were pleased to hear that the Great Neck schools were expanding their course offerings to include such timely topics as:  Pitfalls of Inheriting a Family Business, Making Nepotism work for younger siblings, and Hidden Profits in Credit Default Swaps. The school district also confirmed that all children entering elementary school would be automatically enrolled in the “Gifted and Talented” program, ending years of bickering over inclusion strictly based on merit.

That’s this week’s local news in Great Neck, the community where all the men have their own hedge funds, all the women are good looking, and all the children have high expectations.