I would like to offer my observations as a parent volunteer and as the mother of a bully’s victim.
On Dec. 15, residents will vote on a bond to purchase school buses that will enable the Manhasset School District to operate their own bus company, once again. A thorough review of the district’s prior history in operating a bus company should be explored before residents vote for this bond. By 2005, the last year the Manhasset District operated their own bus company, there were several ongoing issues:
Last week’s letter on bullying needed to be published anonymously. Papers in the Anton group do, under special circumstances, publish letters without providing the name, although the name must be on file with the paper. It was a judgment call and we decided to publish it.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry for your family’s pain. I am sorry for my neighbor’s brutish behavior. But I am mostly sorry for my participation. You see my taxes are giving these bullies some of the finest education in this country.
I would like to believe that we all want to instill kindness into our children. I want to believe that this is what seperates adults from our offspring, since every one of us has at some point been a victim of the social nastiness that comes with childhood. As grownups we have learned that it does not matter how popular you were in high school. We all find a place of comfort and acceptance that creates the confidence to excel in life and prosper in society. This is what I would like to believe. I would like to believe in the kindness of grownups. I think I might be dead wrong.
Instilling kindness and respect in my daughter has cast her as an outsider. She is a loser. Not popular. The uncool crowd. Her friends are all losers too. These lovely girls that care about others feelings or have immigrant parents and feel a little outside the box…losers! Good students, good helpers, good athletes….loser city. Now I see that it is all my fault.
I should have taught her to be mean. She needs to make fun of others. Tolerance is not cool and don’t even think about saying thank you. I have put my daughter at a distinct disadvantage because I did not teach her to make fun of people and their clothes and their houses and their parents and their cars and their shoes and their hair. What was I thinking?
There is a large group of mothers that volunteer and “run the show” in this town. I did not jump in. Being new in town I concentrated on her activities. I was unaware that this was also high school for grown ups and forgot to suck up to the head cheerleader. My daughter has paid the price. I didn’t realize that these hard working women who thankfully run every event and volunteer with pride were also spawning children who kept scorecards on everything I did as well. The plastic smiles to my face translated to gossip at home which led to abuse of my child. And many, many others. That is how the cycle goes. Your superiority has taught your children to be mean. Just plain mean. And the meanest kids’ parents never have a clue because they are too busy snubbing other adults or planning another bake sale.
So now I find myself in the interesting position of having a daughter that can handle the abuse but is becoming a hater. I can see the insecurities and how they affect her socially. She either loves or hates and it all stems from the queen of haters across the street who barely acknowledges her. To hide the pain she feigns indifference yet cries alone and swears she hates her. When this girl needs her my stupid puppy runs like the wind. My fault. I should have taught my daughter to treat this girl like garbage. I should have taught her how to abuse somebody. I should not let her leave the house every day with the directive “be nice today.” I should have insisted she kick butt and take no prisoners.
Is it too late to teach my daughter to be a bully? To have her make fun of others and to make fun of their parents? Is it too late for me to teach her to invite people to a party that is not even happening so the whole school can laugh at her when she shows up? Is this what it takes to survive as a young lady in Manhasset?
I am begging every mother in this town to sit down for five minutes and teach your daughters some compassion and some manners. Please don’t read this and think it can’t be your daughter…it most certainly is. And the more involved in this town you are I can promise you the nastier your child is to others. They are feeding off your popularity, not your kindness. There is a huge difference.
(Editor’s Note: There are instances when we comply with a letter writer’s request not to publish their name, although we require their nameto be on file with us to print the letter. This is one of those instances.)
It was clear from last week’s lead letter to the editor that the author was in deep pain for her daughter. Bullying is, without a doubt, hurtful and destructive and, as the author suggested, not something our children, ideally, should ever have to deal with.
My seventh-grade social studies class at Manhasset Middle School was asked to pick a famous person that they would like to be for Halloween and then write an essay about why they would like to be that person.
I am writing with respect to above referenced property. As a resident living near the location, I am very concerned about the effect the tower will have on the surrounding residential streets. It would seem that a 20-foot tower will have a negative impact visually. A number of questions immediately come to mind. Are there any architectural renderings available for viewing? Will any attempt be made to make this “20-foot tall stealth enclosure” aesthetically pleasing to minimize the impact it will have on all the residential streets? There is also some confusion about the exact height of the tower – the notice uses the phrases “20-foot tall stealth enclosure” and “for a total height of 50 feet” – exactly how many feet will the tower extend into the air? Also, is there a proper minimum setback from any adjoining residential properties?
In a public forum, you made a statement that the district has realized significant savings in the budget as a result of outsourcing. So you must have some basis for this statement. Additionally, Mr. Cardillo has commented on your efficiency, having all the numbers at your fingertips at a moments, which has been documented in the Manhasset Press.
It is so rare that in today’s world, when a community succeeds in overturning a local government initiative, we publicly thank those who were instrumental in the victory.
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