Most members of the North Shore community are well aware of the controversy about what occurred on Dec. 3 at the annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony on the Mary Jane Davies Green.

Father Nick Zientarski from St. Mary's parish was asked to give the blessing, a longstanding component of the ceremony, with local religious leaders participating on a rotating basis. What have been called "dismissive utterances" by Town Supervisor Jon Kaiman during and his "insensitive words" following Father Zientarski's blessing, has received front-page coverage in major daily newspapers. Father Zientarski delivered a religious blessing for all and blessed the Christmas tree for which Kaiman soundly criticized him. Father Zientarski was informed by an angry supervisor that it was not a Christmas tree, but a holiday tree and that it was not a religious ceremony. Kaiman has said since that at the time he believed the blessing inappropriate on public property, but now agrees his assumption was wrong.

As one resident who witnessed the outburst said, "A public scolding is never appropriate, even for a child, and it is proven not to be an effective way to bring about change, if in fact that is what the supervisor wanted. He could have made his point differently, and been more of a statesman." Many question the supervisor's reflexive comments and are angry their celebration of a Christmas tree lighting was challenged.

Father Zientarski said, "It has been the most incredible experience. I have received immense support, hundreds of e-mails supporting both me and faith in society. It is not simply from Catholics but members of different religions offering support, and they're saying it is necessary, because it is important to stand up for what you believe." Father Nick remembered, "I was so surprised. I honestly didn't know how to react, was not able to make a response. Afterwards I thought, 'I was just insulted.' I certainly did not expect such treatment from a representative like that."

"We've met," Father Zientarski said, referring to Kaiman, "Tom Suozzi was instrumental in setting up the meeting. Kaiman was truly repentant and progress was made. We talked about what to do in the future so the ball is rolling and moving in the right direction." Father Zientarski also said "We agreed that we have to work together and respect Christmas now and in the future. I think it was a good meeting and I want you to know that Mr. Kaiman is committed to making this work."

For his part, Jon Kaiman has offered an apology, more than once, for his behavior and said, "It has been a very humbling and enlightening experience. It goes beyond me having a bad day. I misunderstood the nature of the event and I handled myself poorly." Kaiman continued, "I behaved badly. I expected one thing, a different type of event, and I reacted badly even if what I expected did not happen. It has taken on a life of its own. It has been humbling, intensely humbling. There is not much positive about that night. I have extended apologies to Msgr. McCann and to Father Nick Zientarski."

Kaiman thoughtfully continued, "The question now is how do I get to another level and show it is not just words. I was wrong in my interpretation as well as trying to be inclusive - it was offensive and exclusive. I now know to overly generalize undermines what is special about an event."

Councilman Wayne Wink was supportive of his colleague without excusing his behavior when he said, "I too found Jon's comments inappropriate and insensitive. It's not the Jon I have come to know and respect. I know Jon to be an honorable and direct person and his comments that night show no evidence of the Jon Kaiman I know." Wink also said, "I accept Jon's apology as sincere, as has the priest who was involved, and I can only hope the rest of us will accept it in the spirit of forgiveness and charity that should abound this Christmas and throughout the entire holiday season."