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A Look On The Light Side

Real Estate Non-Logic

When I first moved to Long Island and started driving the expressways of Queens, I became seriously confused. No matter which one I wanted, be it the Clearview or the Cross Island, I somehow always ended up on the other one. My husband thinks this means something negative about my map-reading skills, but of course he is wrong.

Finally, I figured out the problem. I was expecting things to be logical, when they were anything but. To be specific: the highway with a clear view of the water in lovely Little Neck Bay? That was the Cross Island. The name “Clearview” was reserved for the road crossing the island without a view of anything lovelier than the truck in front of you. Once I mastered that piece of backwardness, I was fine. 

Closer to home, our water-side expressway is called West Shore Road, while the one just like it, in the exact same part of the next peninsula over, is East Shore Road. Add to that the fact that West Shore Road is east of East Shore Road, and you can join me in telling my husband that the problem isn’t me.

Eventually, I realized that there was something more than sheer cussedness going on. When some politicians tried to put up a building in the middle of town, they kept calling it Harbor View. But here’s the thing – they were putting it in the middle of a landlocked valley, where it had neither Harbor nor View.

That’s when it clicked, for me. When the names are THAT wrong, you can be sure that a real estate or PR professional has had a hand in the naming process.

New York has no monopoly on this kind of nonsense. I grew up several states away, in a development near a street called Knollcrest. And what was the single most distinctive thing about that street? I bet you’ve already guessed: that street—with a name composed of two different words meaning “hill-top”—circled the very bottom of the hill.  In fact, it was the lowest place in the entire development.

Nor is this sort of pretzel logic anything new. Once we started looking for examples, we found them everywhere— even back in time. My son found a classic case from the late 1900s. When Eric the Red’s son Leif wanted people to leave their homes and sail west with him, he talked up the beauties of Greenland.  Naturally, Greenland turned out to be almost entirely covered in ice, and much colder than the place they had started from: Iceland.

As the PR folks take over more and more of the world, we had all better take care when choosing our destinations. I’m going to stick with the kinds of names no one could “spin” — names like Sugar Tom’s Lane. Chicken Valley. Or my personal favorite of all time: Skunk’s Misery Road! With a name like that, it’s got to be real. 


Howard Kroplick was just settling in to his new position as North Hempstead’s town historian in April of 2012 when a phone call from a resident who found an old headstone led him into a comprehensive study of all 28 cemeteries within

the town’s boundaries.


Kroplick, an East Hills resident for 29 years, serves in the unpaid role as an advisor to the North Hempstead board, out of his longtime love of history. His exhaustive study of the area’s cemeteries has helped him complete a history of

North Hempstead that will be published in January, which will coincide with the 400-year anniversary of the discovery of Long Island, by Dutch explorer Adriaen Block. It was Block, according to Kroplick, who first identified Long Island as an actual island, not a peninsula as many believed back then. The 128-page book from Arcadia Publishing is the first ever written about North Hempstead.

For the time being, much of the Roslyn area is without representation on the Town of North Hempstead council. Recently, Thomas K. Dwyer, who has represented Roslyn on that body since 2002, announced that he would step down from the board while he is in negotiations with a Manhattan-based consulting firm.


Dwyer, who is the chief operating officer of Syosset-based American Land Services, would not identify the firm he is talking to, but he said that the new job would represent a conflict of interest with his work on the town board.


SUNY College at Old Westbury recently named Dr. Anthony DeLuca of Levittown as the College’s NCAA Faculty Athletics Representative (FAR), beginning at the start of the 2014-15 academic year.  

DeLuca, now entering his third year at Old Westbury, also holds the position as director Old Westbury’s Honors College.


“We are thrilled that Dr. DeLuca will serve as Old Westbury’s Faculty Athletics Representative,” said director of athletics Lenore Walsh.  “He is a champion for intercollegiate athletics and has been involved with our program since his arrival at Old Westbury.  I am looking forward to the opportunity to work closely with Dr. DeLuca in support of our students’ academic and athletic pursuits at Old Westbury.”

Albertson resident and Kellenberg sophomore Gabby Schreib qualified for the Millrose Games in New York City. Schreib qualified as a member of the Sprint Medley Relay along with Danielle Correia, Bridget McNierney, and Jazmine Fray. 

The Kellenberg relay’s close second place finish in January’s Millrose Trials has moved them closer to defending the title they won in the same relay at last year’s Millrose Games. Schreib and her teammates time is currently second in the United States for girls track and field performances.


Pete Hamill Lecture - December 5

Chazak Celebration - December 7

More Mussar Programs - January 8


1959: The Year The Music Stopped Playing
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The Eccentric Heiress Of ‘Empty Mansions’
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Yellow Margarine And A Pitch For The Ages
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