I received many replies in my plea for justice in the 50 franc-cheating episode in Montpellier, France.

One was from Rabbi Michael Katz, the beloved rabbi of my synagogue Temple Beth Torah in Jericho Gardens, Westbury. File his response in the category, "Crime Does Not Pay."

My wonderful and sharp-eyed rabbi implied, "It was a punishment from God." He noticed that I had purchased a baguette filled with ham and cheese (jambon and fromage). The sandwich was definitely "not kosher" and the false 50-franc note also was not kosher. In relating the sin of the shopkeeper I had revealed a transgression of my own.

For my obvious error, I could offer up a set of lame excuses, but I know they would be viewed skeptically.

a) I could apply the "President Clintonian Excuse": I chewed the sandwich, but I did not swallow the offending foods. ( I doubt Rabbi Katz would swallow that excuse.)

b) Then there's the married man's favorite cop-out: "It was obviously my wife's fault."

Dear Rabbi,

I plead guilty, with an explanation.

Insanity ¬ temporary insanity.

God only knows what my punishment will be!

¬ A chastened Stanley Greenberg

Professional travel writer Edythe Shepard, author of Anton Community Newspapers' travel column, "Bon Voyage," wrote, on behalf of her and her husband and herself, "We thoroughly enjoyed and allied ourselves with your frustrating franc-cheating experience in Montpellier."

"The French arrogance, the insolence, the impertinent pomposity are legendary and utterly believable to us."

She relayed an incident of being ticketed 900 francs (about $150) for "touching the white center line" on a highway while driving with her husband in Burgundy, France. Their treatment by the police was described as "rude and greedy." I was left with this response given to the Shepards by the American Consulate:

"Once the French have your money, forget it!"

This axiom appears to be true, as I have heard nothing from across the Atlantic in regard to rectifying my grievance.