We eat certain foods because of the condiments we shower over them. For example, I eat the gefilte fish on Passover only as an excuse to get to that sharp-tasting, sinus-clearing, eye-watering, throat-choking Gold's horseradish. I can barely taste the blandness of the exquisite blend of fishes, eggs and onions that were so carefully put together.

Another dish that a good friend made an observation about: The only reason I eat matzoh-brei is because I love the salt. Matzoh-brei without a generous sprinkling of salt (Diamond Crystal preferred) is not even worth considering. Ditto for chicken soup and raw tomatoes!

At every Seder for 30 or 40 years my father would ask, "Why do hard-boiled eggs taste better on Passover than they do the rest of the year?" My answer (after 30 or 40 years of pondering this ponderous question), "They taste better 1) Because the whole family is seated around the table, and 2) We dip them into salt water (Yiddish...saltz-wasser)."

Do you think Americans like hamburgers and french fries? Wrong, wrong, wrong! They eat them just to get at the ketchup. When Ronald Reagan called ketchup a vegetable, he was not completely off base. Nobody would even go near a McDonald's or Burger King if they stopped serving ketchup with the burger and fries. Every home in America has that distinctively shaped bottle of Heinz 57 tucked away somewhere. What would a shrimp cocktail be without the cocktail sauce? Recipe for cocktail sauce: Horseradish and ketchup in a mix. Little necks or cherrystone clams would be sent back to the kitchen if we couldn't pour lemon, cocktail sauce and hot pepper sauce all over them.

The condiment table at your favorite pizza parlor contains many lusty pour-ons, oregano, pepper flakes, garlic and salt, just to name a few. (PS Don't eliminate the grated parmesan cheese).

I almost forgot about our good old friend, Mr. Mustard. Pastrami and rye without mustard? Never! Corned beef without mustard? I think not! Hot dogs without mustard? Unthinkable! Guldens or Dijon, we must have our mustard.

Open your condiment and spice cabinet!

Take two steps back!

Give a sharp salute!

Slowly, and respectfully, close the doors!