Last week I visited my daughter in San Diego. The weather was cool, but the only snow visible was on the top of some very tall mountains. We left Long Island with 14 inches of snow piled on either side of the driveway.

We did the usual touristy sights. Legoland was a museum park for younger children. Fun, but expensive. The Del Coronado Hotel for lunch was a world-class experience to remember. The movie Some Like it Hot was shot on its grounds. Old Town in San Diego was the sanitized "gringo" version of a Mexican Border town.

It brought back memories of a trip to Tijuana, Mexico (just south of the border) that we made 20 years ago. You know immediately you are not in the USA. Even now American citizens go there for cheaper pharmaceuticals, plastic surgery, dentistry and cheaper medical care.

The cardinal mistake of shoppers in a foreign country: Seeing and buying a heavy item on impulse in the first store you visit and are forced to lug all over town. Better to buy it just before leaving.

My sad story - I saw an Agate-marble chess set in Tijuana, I am a terrible chess player (too aggressive and I don't protect my flanks) but I always yearned for a chess set.

In the first shop I quickly went into negotiation with the Mexican tradesman. The entire chess set cost only $23 according to the seller. I bargained very heatedly as I was told that was the custom.

I lost my cool and the dickering was done in an angry fashion. I stuck to my price and when the seller relented, I noticed he was not really happy. There was not a fair give-and-take on both sides.

I lugged this heavy green and alabaster chessboard and chessmen around town till my right arm felt it was being ripped from its socket. I longed to take my treasure home and unwrap it. Getting it on and off the plane was an added struggle.

At last the chess board sat on my coffee table and I tenderly opened my Rook, Bishop, Knight, King and Queen from the Mexican tissue paper. As I placed each magnificent piece on the table, I felt the pride of ownership of a long desired object.

There they stood!

Thirty-one pieces?

I was missing a white pawn!

The set was worthless without a complete legion of all the pieces. I had gotten my price but the seller had won the battle.

I swallowed hard and went to work to get a matching white pawn. I called the Mexican Embassy. They commiserated with me. They would help if I sent the equivalent of $6.50 (in Mexican currency), which I did. The price of the bargain set was escalating.

Eventually after six months I received my treasured white marble pawn. Then I received another white pawn and then another. It was overkill. All I wanted was one pawn and I wound up with five useless extras.

The experience left me a bit sadder but much wiser. If you push a person beyond normal and reasonable limits, repercussions will occur. You must leave the seller with some pride. Gouging is improper.

A sale should end in a state of grace for both parties. Buying and selling is quite similar to a chess match.