I have never known what is the right amount of money to bestow on the newlyweds as a gift when attending a wedding. As in most cases it is better to err on the "too much" side rather than on the "too little" amount. The definitive figure is never published in etiquette columns. I am sure that it varies with the area of the country in which you live. Of course, New Yorkers always pay more as they do in rents, restaurants and real life.

This problem was exacerbated recently when Lorraine and I were invited to her cousin's wedding. At my wedding 40 years ago in Washington DC I was surprised to see many wedding guests arriving with large boxes under their arms. I had no idea what they were carrying in those packages. I knew it wasn't their lunch as the caterer, under the auspices of my lovely mother-in-law, had agreed to feed everybody. I didn't realize that people gave wedding gifts in anything other than small sealed envelopes. I was a New Yorker and this was the nation's capital. Different customs for different cities!

This recent announcement that I previously mentioned, was for a wedding in Westchester, NY. The bride was about to be married to the great,-great-grandson of the famous J.P. Morgan. He actually had Roman numerals after his name. The Morgan name carried with it a large dose of financial weight.

The bride was beautiful, the ceremony was very nice and the guests were dressed impeccably. I only had one problem. It hit me as I was making out the check for the wedding gift.

What amount of money do you give a grandson of J.P. Morgan?

Should you give less than usual, as he obviously does not need my meager gift? Should I give twice as much so he doesn't laugh when he opens the envelope?

It represents a real problem!

What would you do, my dear reader? Would you go high or would you prefer the low end?

I can't tell you how much I gave; that would not be cricket. But yesterday we received a thank you note from the happy couple and it mentioned a generous gift.

I feel relieved.